Live at Jammin' Java

by Vanessa Peters

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Recorded live at Jammin' Java in Vienna, VA on June 8, 2017.

credits

released June 25, 2017

Live recording mixed by Rip Rowan.
Cover photo by Jim Williams.
Additional photos by Jim Williams and Rip Rowan.

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all rights reserved

about

Vanessa Peters Dallas, Texas

Indie singer/songwriter based in Texas. Musician, Italophile, Virgo, coffee nerd, food lover, bossy-pants, big ol' softie.
I've released 10+ albums and played over 1000 shows in 11 countries. I'm not done yet.

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Track Name: A Good Judge (live)
find and replace the words that do not work
with the ones that will
it’s no small task, the wrong words lurk in corners
and they do not get their fill

of being used as weapons, of being used to hurt
someone you used to love
sometimes the pain just tumbles out
and we don't always say the things we should

but I know you to be good
I know you to be fair
and I hope you’ll be a good judge of me
now that I’m no longer there

and the trouble was
you never had that many words for me
I was left to guess how you felt
and if you wanted me to leave

and not wanting me to leave
is not the same thing as wanting me to stay
so I had the great debate between me and me
and then I walked away

but I know you to be good
I know you to be fair
and I hope you’ll be a good judge of me
now that I’m no longer there

and to the victor goes the spoils,
but what if there’s no clear winner?
and what if spoils are just things that are spoilt?
in grammar as in life, the line becomes thinner

but I know you to be good
I know you to be fair
and I hope you’ll be a good judge of me
now that I’m no longer there
Track Name: Let's Do This (live)
let’s do this

pull off the screwed on top and watch the bubbles burst watch the liquid fizz and feel your heart immersed in all the crazy hiss of a thousand tiny words whispered in your ear by a thousand tiny birds who were flying oh so near

but they came a little closer they lift up their tiny wings
their humminghearts were whirring, you couldn't hear a thing

let's do this, we can fix it, we’ve only got to twist it, bend it make it fit into the box we've made for it, we've got this and we gotta try, there's nothing left but do or die, we've got to pull this off, we’ve got to pull this off

and don't even try to stop me cause I won't stand for it and I won't be slain, I am not a heart to be won, I'm not the sleeve you’re gonna wear it on, I’m not hiding out in dark caves on the outskirts of the city while it burns. I am not a script you're gonna study, I'm not a lesson to be learned.

but they came a little closer, they were flying oh so near
and you could hear a pin drop, and everything was clear

let's do this, we can fix it, we’ve only got to twist it, bend it make it fit into the box we've made for it, we've got this and we gotta try, there's nothing left but do or die, we've got to pull this off, we’ve got to pull this off

but oh what fun it was when days were long and full of sun
when knees were scraped and friends were made and then friendships came undone…
Track Name: No Decision (live)
the billboard says love never fails
so I guess that it’s just people that do
and there are people failing left and right
every night on the 10 o’clock news
and every night there’s a story
that I just can’t comprehend
so I'll turn out all the lights
now it’s darker than it’s ever been

and the downtown traffic, the corner stores
the streets all slick with gritty rain
I could swear I’ve been here before
cause every city looks the same
now that everything’s changed

late night diner down on ross
sitting in a corner booth
I’d like to chat up the waitress
but she’s got too much to lose
they’re understaffed, she’s overworked
but her boss says it means more tips
her brow is creased in concentration
and I watch her chew a hole in her bottom lip

and the downtown traffic, the corner stores
the streets are slick with gritty rain
I could swear I’ve been here before
cause every city looks the same
now that everything’s changed

and I remember when you told me
it was me that you called home
and I remember when I told you
I wanted to be alone

and I couldn’t see how to stay
I couldn’t see how to go
so I made no decision and I killed it
in doing so

and the downtown traffic, the corner stores
the streets all slick with gritty rain
I could swear I’ve been here before
cause every city looks the same
but everything’s changed
Track Name: Mending Fences (live)
mending fences
while throwing wrenches
into well-oiled machines
driving horses
down well-traveled courses
never gets you what need

and I don't know when everything became impossible
don't know when everything became an obstacle
maybe I just ran out of steam
maybe I just woke up from a long long dream

and how can anyone not look about them
and not feel the world come crashing down
the strange sensation of shaking foundations
is driving us underground

and I don't know when everything became impossible
don't know when everything became an obstacle
maybe I just ran out of steam
or maybe I just woke up from a long long dream

we've come untethered
we've come undone
but still we march to battle
flags held high
we’re always fighting wars
that can't be won
but we've stopped asking why

and I don't know when everything became impossible
don't know when everything became an obstacle
maybe I just ran out of steam
maybe I just woke up from a long long dream
or maybe I am trapped inside a long long dream
Track Name: Fight (live)
I feared failure for a long long time, I suppose that I still do.
I just ran out of armor, I got tired of being poked and examined and submitted for approval
but always found wanting
And I'm tired of always selling myself,
of putting my best foot forward all of the time.
That rabbit I've been chasing is still farther away,
my shoes have come loose and I am tired.

but I never seem to remember
why I'm cut down by all their words
I don't know how to keep my defenses up
I should be braver and I know that it's absurd

and lately I've just been in the corner
licking my wounds every night.
Get out there and fight girl, don't be afraid to bleed
crawl back towards the light
don't be afraid to show your need
smile less and show more bared teeth
get out there and fight, girl
bring them to their knees

I've always had a hard time making leaps
even as a kid I'd spend hours with my toes
curled around the edge, terrified of being pushed,
and screwing up all my courage
And only when the others had grown bored and tired of waiting
the fear of being left alone
would push me towards the water, screaming all the way down...
Though it was never that bad in the end.

but I never seem to remember
that part of the lesson never quite sunk in
I don't know what I'm so afraid of now,
I don't know what I was so afraid of then.

but lately I've just been in the corner
licking my wounds every night.
Get out there and fight girl, don't be afraid to bleed
crawl back towards the light
don't be afraid to show your need
smile less and show more bared teeth
get out there and fight, girl
bring them to their knees
get out there and fight, girl
bring them to their knees.
Track Name: Grateful (live)
you can ask the pilot
if he can pull the plane out of a dive
and he will tell you every time
we are lucky just to fly

and we should be grateful
to be like the birds
even they fall from the sky sometimes
we should be grateful
to be like the birds
spread your wings and cast your fears aside

and you can ask the surgeon
if he can pry your heart out of your mind
and he will tell you with dry eyes
there’s a reason they’re entwined

and you should be grateful
to feel so much
most people just bury it inside
you should be grateful
to be on this course
where reason and empathy collide

and you can ask the preacher
if he can pull the man out of his slide
and he will tell you with bright eyes
man's a victim of his pride

we should be grateful
to just be alive
dig your heels in, get through the day
we should be grateful
to just be alive
your armor’s heavy, but try to be brave