Never Really Gone

from Modern Age by Vanessa Peters

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lyrics

it feels good to push the bruise
and realize it's gone
it's just skin, there's nothing bleeding underneath
nothing damaged or torn

and I don't trust it yet but I stuck a toe out on the ice
maybe coming back didn't make it crack
it's clearer in hindsight

that I was never really gone
I carried it inside
always afraid to lose what I had
I came back to find that
I was never really gone

and I'll never forget the fortune
that brought me on this path
all the people I'd have never got to know
if I had let fear turn me back
and I left some signs along the road
I traveled from here to there
and back again and again and again
maybe I left home, but in the end

I was never really gone
I carried it inside
always afraid to lose what I had
I came back to find that
I was never really gone
never really gone

maybe I outgrew this place
or maybe I just thought I did
maybe I just needed to spread my wings
and fly around a little bit

'cause I was never really gone
I carried it inside
always afraid to lose what I had
I came back to find that
I was never really gone
never really gone
never really gone


The Weight of This

I don’t need you to be apologetic
I need you to be decisive and make the final cut
you're not saving anything by giving it a softer landing
no amount of pretty words can cover up

the constant lo-hum buzzing of regret inside my ears
it's got my balance all worn out and I’m tipping toward my fear

'cause we can't forget the things we've done
and we can't forgive who we've become
and the weight of this weighs a ton
and it crushes us ‘til we are numb

well maybe if I could have stuck the landing
there'd have been a better chance for you to understand me

but I’m unable to stop playing this in reverse
and all the mistakes caught on tape only make it worse

'cause we can't forget the things we've done
we can't forgive who we've become
and the weight of this weighs a ton
and it crushes us til we are numb

so now that we broke free and dodged the bullet
tell me why it’s so hard to just let go of it

and we can't forget the things we've done
we can't forgive who we've become
and the weight of this, it weighs a ton
and it crushes us...
and we can't forget the things we've done
we can't forgive who we've become
and the weight of this, it weighs a ton
and it crushes us til we are numb

credits

from Modern Age, released April 23, 2021

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Vanessa Peters Austin, Texas

Indie singer/songwriter from Texas. Musician, Italophile, Virgo, coffee nerd, food lover, bossy-pants, big ol' softie.
I've released 10+ albums and played over 1000 shows in 11 countries. I'm not done yet.

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