The Burn The Truth The Lies

by Vanessa Peters

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credits

released July 17, 2012

Vanessa Peters: vocals, guitar, harmonica
Joe Reyes: guitar
John Dufilho: drums
Jason Garner: bass
Rip Rowan: keys, drums
Buffi Jacobs: cello on "Favorite Day" and "Good and Ready"

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about

Vanessa Peters Dallas, Texas

Indie singer/songwriter based in Texas. Musician, Italophile, Virgo, coffee nerd, food lover, bossy-pants, big ol' softie.
I've released 10+ albums and played over 1000 shows in 11 countries. I'm not done yet.

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Track Name: A Good Judge
find and replace the words that do not work
with the ones that will
it’s no small task, the wrong words lurk in corners
and they do not get their fill

of being used as weapons, of being used to hurt
someone you used to love
sometimes the pain just tumbles out
and we don't always say the things we should

but I know you to be good
I know you to be fair
and I hope you’ll be a good judge of me
now that I’m no longer there

and the trouble was
you never had that many words for me
I was left to guess how you felt
and if you wanted me to leave

and not wanting me to leave
is not the same thing as wanting me to stay
so I had the great debate between me and me
and then I walked away

but I know you to be good
I know you to be fair
and I hope you’ll be a good judge of me
now that I’m no longer there

and to the victor goes the spoils,
but what if there’s no clear winner?
and what if spoils are just things that are spoilt?
in grammar as in life, the line becomes thinner

but I know you to be good
I know you to be fair
and I hope you’ll be a good judge of me
now that I’m no longer there
Track Name: Bright Red
the sun just spiked its way out of the white sky
pierced my eyes like a thorn
it was the hottest summer in 30 years
since before I was born

my shoulders turned freckled and brown
and my favorite pair of shoes melted into the ground
and we drove around with the windows down
and our bodies drenched in sweat
that's a year I will never forget

and I can't remember why
but I bought a box of dye
and painted my hair bright red
I guess that I was just
papering over the cracks
in the sidewalks running through my head

and that was the year I was safe from all the lies
they were new enough not to haunt me yet
i'm not even sure
they knew it was me they were hunting for
but they were just dim enough to forget

and I can't remember why
but I bought a box of dye
and painted my hair bright red
I guess that I was just
papering over the cracks
in the sidewalks running through my head

and there were still the white stripes of skin
where we never let the sunshine in
and they glowed brightly in the dark
and my red hair looked kind of like a spark

and then the sky turned a comfortable blue
it was fall again, summer was through
and there was just the faded orange of my once-red hair
and the hint of winter coming into view

and I can't remember why
but I bought a box of dye
and painted my hair bright red
I guess that I was just
papering over the cracks
in the sidewalks running through my head
Track Name: The State I'm Living In
the audacity of calling me
to ask how I am
the capacity you have for telling me
that if I put my mind to it then I can

when it was a simple, post-marked letter
you dropped one morning in the mail
as easy as finding a stamp
and sending us a fond farewell

the ferocity of the big bad wolf
disguised as a little lamb
the monstrosity of how easily you said to me
you certainly hoped i'd understand

and it was a simple, foolish attempt
at getting me to see the light
as easy as kissing my cheek
then telling me goodnight

the generosity of you telling me
I wasn't just an also-ran
is tempered by the animosity that I feel
when I realize I was just your back-up plan
these are the cities
these are the cities
and this is the state
I'm living in

the curiosity of you telling me
I'd always be your best friend
and the tenacity required of me
to grit my teeth and let go of your hand
these are the cities
these are the cities
and this is the state
I'm living in
Track Name: No Decision
the billboard says love never fails
so I guess that it’s just people that do
and there are people failing left and right
every night on the 10 o’clock news
and every night there’s a story
that I just can’t comprehend
so I'll turn out all the lights
now it’s darker than it’s ever been

and the downtown traffic, the corner stores
the streets all slick with gritty rain
I could swear I’ve been here before
cause every city looks the same
now that everything’s changed

late night diner down on ross
sitting in a corner booth
I’d like to chat up the waitress
but she’s got too much to lose
they’re understaffed, she’s overworked
but her boss says it means more tips
her brow is creased in concentration
and I watch her chew a hole in her bottom lip

and the downtown traffic, the corner stores
the streets are slick with gritty rain
I could swear I’ve been here before
cause every city looks the same
now that everything’s changed

and I remember when you told me
it was me that you called home
and I remember when I told you
I wanted to be alone

and I couldn’t see how to stay
I couldn’t see how to go
so I made no decision and I killed it
in doing so

and the downtown traffic, the corner stores
the streets all slick with gritty rain
I could swear I’ve been here before
cause every city looks the same
but everything’s changed
Track Name: Grateful
you can ask the pilot
if he can pull the plane out of a dive
and he will tell you every time
we are lucky just to fly

and we should be grateful
to be like the birds
even they fall from the sky sometimes
we should be grateful
to be like the birds
spread your wings and cast your fears aside

and you can ask the surgeon
if he can pry your heart out of your mind
and he will tell you with dry eyes
there’s a reason they’re entwined

and you should be grateful
to feel so much
most people just bury it inside
you should be grateful
to be on this course
where reason and empathy collide

and you can ask the preacher
if he can pull the man out of his slide
and he will tell you with bright eyes
man's a victim of his pride

we should be grateful
to just be alive
dig your heels in, get through the day
we should be grateful
to just be alive
your armor’s heavy, but try to be brave
Track Name: Favorite Day
have you ever bit your tongue and made it bleed?
has your voice trailed off in mid-story
trying not to speak of me?
and when she asks about the picture
I wonder what you'll tell her
'cause the world's gone public,
and you can't hide me forever
and you could cover the tracks we left in the sand
the pictures you took only show my feet,
long & skinny & tan

and that was my favorite day
warm and bright and grand
and full of hopes about to dash
on the shores of lake michigan
it would be easy enough to smile and say
I was just a good friend
and if you give me at least that much
then I'll understand

'cause those were younger actors playing our parts
we wouldn't know our lines now,
but once we, we knew them by heart
sometimes we danced around the lines,
sometimes they shifted in the dirt
sometimes the weight was on my side,
sometimes you carried the hurt
but will you be as honest as you can
or dismiss me with a sideways glance
and pray I'll understand?

'cause that was my favorite day
warm & bright & grand
and full of hopes about to dash
on the shores of lake michigan
it would be easy enough to smile and say
she was just a good friend
and if you give me at least that much
then I'll understand
Track Name: The Sting
it’s a natural instinct
fighting for your life
and you were fighting to save us both
I was fighting for the flight

and I tried to carry your weight
but I could barely float my own
and we went down down down
like a stone

and the waves kept crashing over
and the salt, it stung my eyes
but I don’t know if the sting is from
the salt or the lies

this day in a snow globe
I’m all upside down
I look around but I don’t recognize
the streets of my hometown
covered in these snowflakes
like tiny missives from outer space
but the ink’s run off
and the words just melt away

and the snow keeps swirling round me
and the bitter wind, it stings my eyes
and I don’t know if the sting is from
the cold or the lies

and I always try to tell the truth
I always try to do what’s right
but I cannot hide from this one
when all around me
there is so much light
so much light

and the world keeps moving around me
and the bright bright sun it burns my eyes
and I don’t know if the burn is from
the truth or the lies

I don't know if the burn is from
the truth or the lies
Track Name: Copilot
you tried to hold my gaze
but I just looked away
watched a hail mary pass on the screen
it's the first day of the new year
it's the perfect day to finally say what I mean

and man that quarterback’s off to a great start
he’s a hero now, he’s won the nation’s heart
and I wish I had a throwing arm, I wish I had better aim
I wish I could convince you to stay in the game

but Hail Mary, Mother of God
I’m hitting the road, could you come along?
I've been writing love letters out on the blacktop
and later on I can barely read what I wrote
and I could use a copilot
maybe you could help me take notes

so I turned off my brain, I turned off my heart
I turned off the porch light and I turned off the stars
I packed a suitcase of regret to take with me
I closed the front door, threw it into the backseat
I keep my eye on them in the rearview
they’re always there to see me through

but Hail Mary, Mother of God
I’m hitting the road, could you come along?
I've been writing love letters out on the blacktop
and later on I can barely read what I wrote
and I could use a copilot
maybe you could help me take note

I turn off my car back in the drive
I’m kind of lucky I made it home alive
not sure how much of this I’ve got left
but I know that I can’t do it by myself
Track Name: String Too Short To Use
string too short to use
I can’t bind me to you
I’ve studied all the knots of my heart
but you keep on falling through
and I can't tie it tightly
I cannot get a grip
on string too short to use
and knots that always slip

and I never learned how to hold on
I only know how to let go
and I never learned how to be strong
and I just thought you should know

lone wolf, lone wolf
do you ever feel that great big gulf
that stands between you and everything that you could be
if only you weren’t so lonely?

and I never learned how to hold on
I only know how to let go
and I never learned how to be strong
and I just thought you should know

and sometimes when I look up at the sky
blue just seems like another shade of gray
and sometimes when I look into your eyes
I have to close my own and then look away

string too short to use
I can’t bind me to you
I’ve studied all the knots of my heart
but you keep on falling through
and I can't tie it tightly
I cannot get a grip
on string too short to use
and knots that always slip

and I never learned how to hold on
I only know how to let go
and I never learned how to be strong
I just thought you should know
Track Name: Good and Ready
I’m gonna bury my thoughts down in a hole
'til they can no longer breathe
choke the life right out of them, make them see
what they do to me
they’ll be begging for mercy

I’m gonna bury my heart down in a hole
'til it can no longer beat
smother the life right out of it, make it feel
what it does to me
it’ll be crying for clemency

and I’ll consider requests
for forgiveness
but only on my time
and when I’m good and ready

I’m gonna hide away your voice inside my head
deep in the darkest part
I’ve made a special place for it
Where it can't tear me apart
Where I can't hear it plead for a new start

and I’ll consider requests
for forgiveness
but only on my time
and when I’m good and ready

once I was afraid
to put these things in their right place
but I’ve made my choice
and I don’t need thoughts, don’t need a heart
and I can do without your voice

and I’ll consider requests
for forgiveness
but only on my time
and when I’m good and ready
Track Name: This Could Go Well
the history of you is fraught with
hearts not loving you enough
and the history of me is riddled with
hearts I guess I loved too much
and the history of me is made up of
dead-end roads and endless waving seas
and the history of you has never quite shaped up
to one you'd like save in memory

but it seems like this could go well
it seems like it though it's too soon to tell
it seems like this could go well

and it's hard for me to trust in things I can't see
especially up here at 30,000 feet
it's hard to believe there ever was a you
somewhere down there on a street
but things look different down here on the ground
and there you are at baggage claim
you take my bag and you take my hand
and I don't even hesitate

but it seems like this could go well
it seems like it though it's too soon to tell
it seems like this could go well

such a doubting Thomas as me
I'd have to say there never was
someone so terrified
of a little thing called love

yet it seems like this could go well
it seems like it though it's too soon to tell
it seems like this could go well